"Why YES! Yes I WOULD like to talk with you about the end of the world!"
"Think carefully, and then tell yourself about me."
"Face it Fred - you're lost!"
Awww... too bad!
"...and then I heard a loud bang and when I turned back, he was gone!"
"We usually shop in the comfort of our own home, but the bloody computer crashed."
"It's the latest innovation in office safety. When your computer crashes, an air bag is activated so you won't bang your head in frustration."
The most effective birth control known to man.
"Nurse, get on the internet, go to SURGERY.COM, scroll down and click on the 'Are you totally lost?' icon."